The 8 Most “Miami” Drinks, And How to Get Them Properly

Drinking is usually as much a part of coming to Miami as laying on the beach and getting ripped off by cab drivers. And while asking to be taken anywhere on Ocean Drive is an obvious tipoff to any opportunistic cabby that you’re not from around here, ordering drinks the wrong way can also see you getting minimal alcohol for a maximal price. So in order to make sure you’re getting the right drink with the right ingredients from the right place, we’re giving you the rundown on 8 must-drink Miami cocktails and the best places to get them.

Pina Colada
This is the typical, coconut-rum blended drink that tastes like sunscreen and’ll get you plastered without knowing it. Known most-commonly for its annoying Instagram pictures and Jimmy Buffet songs.

What’s in it:
2 ½ to 3 oz. of rum
2 oz. Cream of Coconut
2 oz. Pineapple Juice

How to order: Be sure to ask if they use a mix or the fresh cream of coconut and pineapple juice. If they don’t, order a beer and go elsewhere. And never order it on the rocks. Then throw in a dark rum floater for the coup de gras.
Where to get it: It’s not on the sand, but Barton G makes them fresh and delicious.

Mojito
This Cuban favorite is a mix of muddled mint (or yerba buena if you wanna get REAL authentic) sugar and limes topped with rum and club soda.

What’s in it:
Fresh mint leaves
½ lime
2 Tablespoons sugar
1 ½ oz. White Rum
½ cup Soda Water

How to order: Ask for a mojito (pronounced moe-HEE-toe) and be sure to ask if they use real sugar instead of simple syrup, and soda water instead of Sprite. Hemingway didn’t have Sprite, neither should you. And always, ALWAYS tip double what you would for a normal drink, as these are a serious pain to make.
Where to get it: The walk-up mojito window on Espanola Way

Caipirinha
This is like the mojito’s stronger, meaner older Brazilian cousin, forgoing all that sissy stuff like lime and soda water and replacing it with the much sugar caney-er Cachaca instead of rum. So plan accordingly.

What’s in it:
½ lime
1 teaspoon Sugar
2 ½ oz. Cachaca

How to order: First, learn to say it. “kai-per-EEN-ya.” Or else risk being laughed at by the entire bus staff. Also remember it’s about twice as strong as a mojito, so it’ll take a lot less to get you into bad decision mode.
Where to get it: Sushi Samba on Lincoln Road

The Rum Runner
Legend has it this super-boozy topical fruity concoction was invented at the Tiki Bar in Islamorada, an hour and a half into the Keys from here. Of course, legend also has it that there are English-speaking cab drivers. So who knows

What’s in it:
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
1 oz. Orange Juice
1 oz. Blackberry Liqueur
1 oz. Banana Liqueur
1 oz. Light Rum
1 oz. Dark Rum or Aged Rum
Splash Grenadine
Bacardi 151 Floater

How to order: Ask for a Rum Runner and get it either blended or on the rocks. If they say the blender is broken, they’re lying. 100% of the time.
Where to get it: Tiki Bar at the Postcard Inn at Holiday Isle. Worth the drive to see the Keys anyway.

The Miami Vice
Despite the name that makes it sound like something filled with cocaine and Ferrari oil, this is really nothing more than a half-daiquiri, half pina colada put in the same glass. But soooo much more delicious.

What’s in it:
Daiquiri Mix
Pina Colada Mix
Rum
Strawberries
Fresh Coconut

How to order: Ask for an ALF. Then a Golden Girls. Then a Cosby Show. Then apologize for being annoying and just ask for this by name. It’s makeable without the mixes, but we don’t know of anywhere that doesn’t make it that way.
Where to get it: The Clevelander

The Hurricane
Possibly the most aptly named drink in Miami, this one’s been responsible for the destruction of more nights than any little rainstorm. It’s so nasty, it comes in different categories. All taste like fruit punch, and all will punch the fruit out of you.

What’s in it:
1.5 oz. Amaretto
1 oz. Light Rum
1 oz. Dark Rum
6 oz. Orange Juice
6 oz. Pineapple Juice
1 teaspoon Lime Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Orange slice garnish
Bacardi 151 floater on top

How to order: Much like with the actual storms, the higher the category, the harder it’s gonna hit you. So those measurements up there? All variable by category. But be advised if you are male and order anything under a Cat 5 your bartender will publicly mock you.
Where to get it: Sandbar and Grill in Coconut Grove

The CoronaRita
Hardly exclusive to Miami, this gargantuan monstrosity takes a tourist-trap sized margarita and says “Hey, we know the half-bottle of Motezuma we threw in here is gonna get you pretty stewed. But you know what would absolutely, 100% ensure a night of bad decisions and a bottle of Advil for breakfast? Dumping TWO WHOLE BOTTLES OF CORONA in there too!” So yeah. Good luck with this one.

What’s in it:
1 Whole Can of Lemon-Lime Soda
12 oz. Frozen Lime Concentrate
12 oz. Tequila (yeah, that TWELVE OUNCES OF TEQUILA)
2 Bottles of Corona

How to order: With three other people. Seriously. Unless you’re Andre the Giant (and he’s dead, so you’re not) this drink is more alcohol than any human being should consume in less than 6 hours. It’s also gonna run you in the $45 range, so bring your wallet.
Where to get it: Anywhere on Ocean Drive. If you’re going to drink like a tourist, you may as well be front and center about it.

Cafecito
And since a next morning of extreme lethargy and medieval head vice-level pain are pretty much a given after a night of sucking down super-sweet drinks like these, you’re gonna need something to get you ready for Round 2. Bring on the cafecito, the Cuban coffee drink that’s Miami’s most potent stimulant that won’t land you in prison.

What’s in it:
Crystal Meth
No just kidding

Espresso
¼ Cup of Sugar

How to order: “Un cafecito, por favor.” That’s it. If you ask for it with milk, that’s more a Café con Leche. It’ll come in one styrafoam cup with a bunch of little cups. Probably best to take it by the little-cup-shot, lest you give yourself a heart attack.
Where to get it: David’s Cuban Cafe

 

Related Categories: Miami: Food & Restaurant News, About the Author: Matt Meltzer is a featured columnist at Miami Beach 411. See more articles by Matt Meltzer. See more articles by Matt Meltzer Was This Post Helpful? Please Share It With Others! Tweet

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