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Your Guide to Miami Beach Halloween Parties for 2013

Where you can party in South Beach with Playmates, Zombies and Lupin

Yes, Miami Beach on Halloween is probably the greatest freak show our little island of freak shows sees all year. And even in a town where the girls dress like hookers every night, and the guys are creepier than anything you’d see on “Walking Dead,” October 31st just seems to kick it up a notch. We all know Lincoln Road is the main event, but if you’d rather spend your Halloween with Black Swans, Playmates, Anime characters or washed up basketball players, here’s your guide to where to do it.

Baoli’s Black Swan Party –  Baoli
*This party goes on October 30. Because, hey, why NOT 2 nights of Halloween.
Don’t worry. You don’t need to become completely schitzo, stab yourself in the leg with broken glass and hook up with Mila Kunis to attend this All Hallow’s Eve-Eve masquerade. Baoli’s popular “My Boyfriend’s Out of Town” Wednesday fiesta goes black tie for the holiday, with formal attire for the men, and “Midnight Ballerina” for the ladies.

Mega Models Halloween Party – Delano
No, this isn’t a reenactment of that Halloween in 7th grade where nobody invited you to anything so you spent the night in your bedroom putting together a 2-foot version of the Santa Maria. This is that party you swore someday you’d go to full of real-live models from the Mega Models agency, poolside in South Beach with drinks that’re spiked with NOHO (No Hangover) so you won’t be hurting the next day like you were after sniffing all that model glue.

Playboy Halloween Masquerade – Hyde Beach at the SLS
While you’re not required to dress up as either sexy, or as a bunny, Former Playmates Shelby Chesnes (July 2012) and Shawn Dillon (February 2013) will be on hand to award $500 to the sexiest costume and the best bunny costume. So if you have any aspiration of meeting them, dressing like that would be a good idea. Or you can win Hyde’s game of “Find the Rabbit” for a “special” grand prize. So definitely don’t dress as Elmer Fudd.

Cedric Gervais Halloween Sh!t Show - LIV
Remember back when Cedric Gervais was the DJ you saw spinning every week at Crobar? Yeah, Crobar, it was that long ago. Well one song with a clever pun about drugs and a Lana Del Rey remix later and all of a sudden Cedric is a household name and headlining the biggest club in Miami on one of the biggest nights of the year.  Perhaps if you can find a funny way to sing about Krokodil you’ll be next.

Veuve Cliquet’s Yelloween  - Loews Soak Rooftop Lounge
Veuve is celebrating their 30th birthday, and like so many people once they turn 30 would much rather spend Halloween on a rooftop sipping expensive champagne than fighting off sweaty guys in Super Mario costumes up and down Lincoln Road. If you’re of the same mindset, join them for $15 glasses and $75 bottles all night.

The Official AMC Walking Dead Halloween Party – The Moore Building
Ok, this one’s not on South Beach. But it is the only Halloween party based on a TV show and fully endorsed by the network that runs it. Worth the drive if you’re a fan of the show, or just need to get away from the usual crowd of walking dead you see in The Beach EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND.

Rony Seikaly - Mansion
When was the last time you spent Halloween watching a really-average 1990s basketball player DJ all night at a South Beach megaclub? Never, that’s when. And until Vlade Divac is manning the turntables at LIV, this is gonna be your only chance. And his music’s not bad.

Pimps and Hos Party – SET
Girls, this party is perfect for you if your only legitimate costume idea is “Slut,” and you don’t have the requisite wings, cat ears, or M & M costume to make it a “slutty” anything else. And gentleman, this WILL be the only chance all year you have to bust out your full length fox fur and not look completely insane.

Sushi Samba Cosplay Party – Sushi Samba Dromo
Finally, after years of dressing up like Lupin and having everyone say “Hey, nice James Bond costume but what’s with the red jacket?” SOMEBODY will get it as Sushi Samba hosts a Cosplay party, where the idea is to dress up like Anime characters. There’ll also be Taiko drummers, Cirque X dancers, Geisha girls and DJs spinning Japanese pop music. And no, “Gangnam Style” is Korean.

Walloween  - Wall at The W
It’s pretty accurate to walk up to pretty much anyone on Halloween in Miami and call them “Sick Individuals.” But only at Wall will you know you are 100% accurate in doing so when the Dutch EDM act by that name teams up with the ubiquitous DJ Robbie Rivera for a “Neon Day of the Dead” party. Which is also a pretty accurate description of the last day of Ultra.

Related Categories: Miami: Local News, Miami: Nightlife, Miami: Things to Do,

About the Author: Matt Meltzer is a featured columnist at Miami Beach 411.

See more articles by Matt Meltzer.

See more articles by Matt Meltzer

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