If you came here for a week and thought Miami was your new home, here’s 25 realities you need to accept before you make our skyline your background on Facebook (even though you probably already have).

Since we first put out our comprehensive Guide to Miami Strip Clubs and Topless Bars in 2007, a lot has changed. Like Madonna’s employed a 13 year old and was mercifully shut down for like, 5 minutes. And Gold Rush remodeled itself, reinvented itself, then got itself torn down and replaced. So fresh for 2014, here’s what’s new in Miami Strip Clubs and Topless Bars.

To truly grasp the colorful, beautiful, often-maddening but always surreal stuff that makes up this crazy city, you need to see it for yourself. And if you lack the hundreds of dollars it costs to fly here our Instagram page captures this city like none you’ll see elsewhere. You’ll see not only the Convention and Visitors’ Bureau skyline and beach beauty you come to expect, but also the weird, whacky, and often head-shaking scenes that make you say “Only in Miami.”

How is Fabio Viviani’s Siena Tavern Miami going to fill 400 seats a night in some of the most expensive real estate in South Beach without charging Miamians more than they can afford? And how is he going to keep them coming back? And, seriously, is he FINALLY going to open a restaurant with good service?  He told us, with a few four-letter words peppered in, and we’re excited.

Labor Day in Miami has a special meaning:“Only 6 more weeks of unbearable humidity, daily rainstorms, and flooding.” Kinda like Groundhog Day up north, but with pool parties. And there’s plenty of those,  DJs,  floating in the ocean with free daiquiris and a lot more right here

If you’re not trying to spend all day over an open flame, and want to get out and let someone else run the party, South Beach has a ton of options. Here are 8 great events to hit up in South Beach this Independence Day.

So Sunday is Father’s Day, and you’ve found yourself in Miami Beach and wondering what to do. And whatever what kind of dad you’ve got, Miami Beach has somewhere to take him he’s gonna love. So to help you narrow it down, here’s 10 spots to take your dad, no matter who he is.

After being scheduled for demolition post-Andrew, a grass-roots campaign the led to the formation of the Friends of Miami Marine Stadium, which helped earn the stadium designation as a National Treaure in 2012. The graffiti and trash-littered landmark got a major cleanup Saturday as its first step on the long road to restoration.

Lyft, the ride sharing system that’s sort-of revolutionized short-trip car services in 61 cities already has finally made it to Miami. But what exactly is it? And how is it going to improve how we get around the city? We break down the new pink-mustachioed revolution here.