Marlins Close out Sun Life Stadium As Fast as They Can

The Florida Marlins died quietly Wednesday night. And nobody really noticed.

When Logan Morrison gazed helplessly at a called third strike Wednesday night, the 3-1 loss to the Washington Nationals closed out this season in purgatory. And more importantly put to a whimpering end the worst venue in Major League Baseball, Sun Life Stadium.

The most irrelevant sports franchise to win two championships in the past 15 years played its final game. The Florida Marlins, known best for dismantling championship teams and drawing fewer fans than High School football, ceased to exist after Morrison struck out. A team who’s most historic moment was hitting a foul ball is finally history.

THEY COULDN’T GET OUT FAST ENOUGH

The game was over in a blazing two hours and twenty four minutes. The Yankees and Red Sox have played innings longer than that. But the last game of the season for a last place team in a last place stadium is not exactly something to be savored. When the Marlins fell behind , they began swinging at the first pitch every time up. The players didn’t want to spend another minute being the bastard children of Sun Life.

To underscore how unimportant this team is at Sun Life, the field was not decked out in ceremonial garb for its baseball finale. Hell, the field still had the yard markers and torn up turf from the previous weekend’s football games. The Marlins were being sent off the same way they lived in that place. Unwanted, unappreciated, and an inconvenience to the football teams.

After the game, the team honored a number of former players, most of whom seemed to be fat relief pitchers from forgettable seasons. The all-time team was impressive, though half of it was currently on other major league rosters. Another reminder of how this organization has embarrassed itself over its 18 seasons. Chief Embarrassment Wayne “Firesale” Huizenga was introduced to the crowd, and pelted with a well-deserved chorus of boos.

ALREADY NOT CARING

In April, they will be reborn as the Miami Marlins in their shimmering new home in Little Havana. And while the city has some muted excitement over the ultra-modern baseball palace on the 836, the team’s new logo is showing that the Miami Marlins may be just as much of an embarrassment as the Florida version.

A fan seated right below us at home plate hoisted a sign reading “Samson, Nogo on the Logo.” To his credit, Marlins President David Samson actually came down from his plastic orange tower to talk to the fan, a gentleman named Michael Hursey. He told Hursey to give the new logo time. Nice to see that the Miami Marlins are ignoring fans before they’ve even played a game.