“True Lies” Movie Review

“True Lies” was released July 15, 1994. The film’s Domestic gross was $146,282,411.

True Lies is the non-true (fictional) story of Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger, pre-governor and still groping), a secret agent who maintains a double-life. To family and friends, he is simply a computer salesman. In reality, Harry spends his time fighting terrorists and other national security threats.  True Lies is not a realistic film. It is full of explosions, blood and a healthy dose of good ‘ol violence. The majority of it’s scenes and it’s plot are over the top. But in the end, it manages to do its hare-brained job: entertain audiences, mostly thanks to the strong dose of comedy provided by the lead actors.

In True Lies, Arnold re-teams with Terminator I & II director James Cameron.  After directing some of the top action movies of the 1980s and 90s, Cameron would go on to direct a tearjerker about a doomed love between a skinny American kid and some voluptuous British gal on some cruise ship that sank in the North Atlantic. Said movie garnered Cameron a few Oscar awards and several million dollars in his bank account. A bit later, Cameron would lose part of his fortune to ex-wife Linda Hamilton.

After the financial disaster that was Last Action Hero and the emasculating Junior, audiences were clamoring for Arnold to return to massive killing shape. And in True Lies, he’s back in top form, whacking terrorists by the bunch and leaving no collateral damage. Arnold isn’t just brute strength, like in the glorious Commando; in True Lies his character display a sense of intellect: Harry Tasker speaks several languages, can manipulate his way out of situations and of course dances the tango like any Argentine.

Don’t Mess with the Omega Team

Harry is an agent from the Omega Sector, the last line of defense, because the CIA wasn’t intelligent enough (are they ever?). Jamie Lee Curtis plays Helen Tasker, Harry’s wife, who finds herself extremely bored with her mundane life as a legal secretary. Helen’s long for adventure in her life, completely unaware of her husband’s exploits. Eliza Dushku is Dana Tasker, Harry’s daughter.  Dushku supposedly plays a teenager, but she must only about 11 at the time of filming. Tom Arnold plays Albert “Gib” Gibson, Harry’s partner. Somehow, while Arnold is in top shape, Tom is a bit blubbery. Then again, the latter takes care of the technical aspects of espionage, while Arnold does all fighting and impersonating. Grant Heslov plays Faisil, a computer expert and the third member of Harry’s team.

In the initial scene, Harry has infiltrated a meeting of oil billionaires and bankers inside some Swiss fortress. After obtaining information linking Khaled, a wealthy Arab businessman to the possible theft of nuclear weapons from a Kazakhstani arsenal, Harry meets Juno Skinner (Tia Carrere), an arts dealer who doesn’t mind supporting terrorists if they offer her an original Dali, or in this case ancient Persian statues. Skinner has excellent diplomatic contacts for bringing merchandise inside the U.S. Her character’s motivations are never fully explained. After dancing the tango with Juno, Harry must make a swift retreat from the compound. Harry has the accuracy and aim of a marine, shooting all of the well-armed guards that try to capture him.

Harry’s team of Omega operatives presents the results of their investigation to their bureacratic chief Trilby (Charlton Heston), who criticizes their efforts while offering zero solutions. The possible culprits are an Arab terrorist splinter cell that goes by the name of Crimson Jihad, led by the psychotic and fanatical, Aziz (Art Malik). These terrorists hail from an un-named Middle Eastern country located close to the Persian Gulf.

Always be Honest with your Spouse……not

Harry returns home to his wife and daughter. His continual absences have caused Helen to lose any love and emotion she might have for him. His relationship with Dana, is almost non-existant. At one point, Harry discovers that Helen is close to engaging on an affair with Simon (Bill Paxton), a mysterious man who claims to be a secret agent. After further investigating, Harry and Gib discover that Simon is a greasy used car salesman, similar to those found on NW 36th St. While Simon is attempting to seduce Helen in a trailer park, Harry calls in his operatives. After further interrogation, Harry figures out that Simon is just some bum and Helen hasn’t cheated. While locked in a special glass room, Helen is instructed to meet a possible arms dealer at a suite in the Washington Marquis hotel and entertain him. Said dealer is none other than Harry with a French accent recording. He instructs Helen to dance in a sexy way for him. What follows is the famous scene of Jamie Lee Curtis in black lingerie using a bedpost as a striping pole. Whilst a terrible dancer, Curtis has a body hot enough to pull it off (actually, her so-so dancing adds to the scene’s humor). Suddenly, Aziz and his henchmen burst into the room, taking Harry and Helen as hostages. Somehow, they had been trailing super agent Harry all day long and will use him in order to let the U.S. government know that they possess nuclear weapons; which they will use to back up their demands that American troops abandon the Persian Gulf.

Kill’em All isn’t just a Metallica Album

The terrorists transport Harry and Helen to their compound,          which happens to be on some uninhabited island in the Florida Keys. Here, Harry is forced to admit his secret life to Helen. After being injected with truth serum, Harry manages to untie his hand cuffs and kill the first two of many terrorists. At this point, the plot basically weakens. Harry’s objective is to stop the terrorists from activating their nuclear weapons.  One of the final scenes includes Harry fighting terrorist leader Aziz while piloting a Mariner fighter jet in the middle of the Downtown Miami skyline. Somehow, Aziz’ men have kidnapped Dana (these terrorists can probably find Jimmy Hoffa). Dana is carrying the activating key to one the nukes, while Aziz is chasing her around the Mariner jet. Aziz has proven more difficult to kill than Max Cady from Cape of Fear. Finally, he falls from the jet and is dangling one of the aircraft’s missiles. Harry proceeds to literally fire him into a helicopter carrying some of the remaining terrorists. Harry saves the day; in the process he must killed like 50 terrorists. Faisil took 3, Helen nailed like 5, and Gib will have to wait for the sequel. Helen ditches her boring life asa secretary and becomes an agent and they both live happily ever after, unlike that couple from the boat movie.

Who Needs an Army?

Is there something Harry Tasker can’t do (maybe he can drag us out of our oil dependency)? Watching this movie must’ve felt like a slap in the face to the U.S. Armed Forces. While I’m not a Libertarian, following the movie’s logic, why even pay taxes to have an army. Who needs cruisers, destroyers, tanks, humvees and nuclear submarines? Why waste money training thousands of men in the armed forces for special training to be Navy Seals, Army Rangers or part of the intelligence services. Somehow, CIA, FBI, NSA, ATF, NYPD, DKNY we’re all unable to detect the presence of a large contingent of terrorists who smuggled in a WMD and various weaponry inside the U.S. Harry, on the other hand speaks several languages, can fly a fighter jet, has enormous strength and fighting ability.  He is the man the exile community needs in order to rid themselves of Fidel Castro and company. We don’t need thousands of well- trained young men and women to defend our country. Instead we should put together a special force with Harry Tasker, Rambo, Wesley Snipes, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Chuck Norris after taking a viagra and George W. in cowboy boots. They’ll eliminate all national security threats around the World. And the rest of us will be safe enough to sit back, relax and watch Miami Social.

How does relate to Miami?

Several scenes from True Lies were filmed in South Florida. The terrorists established a base on a small island close to the Keys, where they detonate one of their bombs as a demonstration of their power. This would make not just the Keys but most of South Florida uninhabitable for all animal and plant life. Conch Republic residents must be none too happy with this movie. Homestead residents were probably fuming: first hurricane Andrew and now a nuke.

In one particular scene, Air Force jets destroy part of the old Overseas Highway in order to block the terrorists’ route. Contrary to popular belief, this part of the bridge wasn’t destroyed for the movie. It had already been converted to a fishing pier. When Arnold is piloting the fighter jet, the audience gets plenty of views of Downtown and Brickell’s skyline. In one scene Claughton Island is visible, and noticeably, has less hi-rises. The Miami skyline looks much shorter. It should be noted that True Lies was released in 1994, prior to the construction boom and subsequent ‘Manahattanization” of downtown Miami.

In a very bad case of life imitates art, several 9-11 terrorists, were actually residing in South Florida prior to the attack on the World Trade Center. If only the real terrorists had been as bumbling as the one’s onscreen, things might have been different.

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