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Miami Velvet: What a pigs place   1-Star rating

After reading the reviews on Miami Velvet (swingers club) , visiting the website and have seen the pictures of the virtual club tour, my wife and I decided to go and spend one night in Miami Velvet.

I have been in the club 10 years ago and remembered the club to be very nice with a great atmosphere .

Arriving, the first thing we noted was the parking (on the premises of the club) was $ 10. Nowhere on their website I was able to find any hint thereof.

Since the Miami Velvet promotes their Diner offered in the club we did not eat that evening.

The kitchen you can see on the internet of the club looks great, however, Velvet does in fact offer very limited, old and most of it uneatable food.

The cheese blocks must have been served over and over for the last 4 weeks. They were try and hard.

The bread cut in slices was a similar experience like the cheese. We estimate it had been sitting in the basket for 3 days.

The food - a choice between DRY pork slices and chicken fingers (we did not touch).  The green beans, the only eatable food where served by a Lady unable to speak English.

No salad, no other additions, most of the counters empty and cleaned.

The kitchen experience overall, clean but the food very poor.

Walking through the club we noticed that the pictures on the website of Miami Velvet must be at least 10 - 15 years old and reality of the actual condition has no much do to with the pictures shown on the website.

The winner took a sofa next to the billiard pool table. If one would drive through the poorest neighborhood in town and look to pick up the most disgusting and agilest sofa - the one next to the billiard table at Miami Velvet would surely win the price.

Walking through the “action” area, we arrived early and there was no “action” at the time, made us wonder, WHO CLEAR IN THEIR MINDS
would lye down on this mattresses and have sex.

The “beds” looked run down, same broken, the sheets old and overused.

We tried not ; NOT to imagine how the beds would look like, if you took the old bed sheets covering the same up, would be taken off.


The memory I had of Miami Velvet of 10 years ago was very different and the website reflects this memory.

The reality is - and I am sure the management must have changed a couple of times since then, otherwise they must have become blind not to see what we have seen - if you like to have an really exiting evening in Miami with a serious chance to [EDIT]:  Visit Miami Velvet.

Miami Velvet is located at 3901 NW 77th Ave., .

See related reviews in: Not Recommended, Nightclub, Atmosphere, Food, User Reviews  - 1-Star rating

This review is the subjective opinion of the individual traveler and not of MiamiBeach411 nor of its partners.

Mr. Butterfly does not recommend this business.

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1 Comments on

"What a pigs place"

DJswing says:

I agree with the edits. The club is a lot of fun. Def worth checking out.

Posted on 06/14/2011 at 12:28 PM

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