Believe It or Not: I Don't Hate Miami (And Here's Why I Can't Leave)

As the resident nay-sayer around here, or as I like to call it “the voice of reason,” people often ask me why I continue to stay in Miami despite everything bad I say. It’s not so much I only have bad things to say, it’s just that the perception people get from television and movies is that this place is some sort of perfect American paradise. And I feel that people who want to move here need to know the whole story before picking up their lives. It’s only fair.

But all that being said, I realize that sometimes I sound like the guy who just loves to complain, and won’t do anything about it. But the truth is I can never leave Miami. I’ve given up a great job, a great family, and several great girls to stay here, and at this point leaving would make all that seem pointless. But those are my personal reasons. What about this city makes it so great?

You never have to stay inside, unless Channel 7 tells you to

The obvious one is the weather. What people who’ve lived here a long time don’t understand is that we can take advantage of everything this city has to offer all year round. It’s almost never too cold to enjoy the beach or the Everglades or the ocean. It’s never too snowy to leave your house. You never have to scrape ice off of anything and your kids can always go outside and play.

A lot of cities, they may have a lot more to do than Miami, but you can’t always do it. Even if it’s indoors, there is the issue of getting there, hard to do with a negative wind chill and freezing rain.

If you like sports or cultural activities, you can always get tickets. For some reason, the prevailing apathy of South Florida’s population leads to an abundance of tickets available for all four of our local sports teams as well as any touring show or arts production. There is so much to do here that chances are whatever you’re doing won’t be too crowded, and tickets won’t be too expensive. Compare this to a place like Boston, where someone has to die for you to get box seats to a Red Sox game.

There’s a reason we say “Only in Miami”

Things happen here that don’t happen anywhere else. People find alligators in their swimming pools. Public officials get indicted annually, and corruption is almost acceptable in public life. This may not make for the most efficient or effective government around, but the newspaper is never wanting for scandal or interesting news. Even in other major cities, you are often hard pressed to find the large amount of “Did that really happen?” type of stories you do here.

I even love the police. Except in Pinecrest.

The culture is permissive, so little things like illegal U-turns or walking down the street with a beer are unenforced. Closing times are later at bars and clubs, so you can have all the fun you want. Once you’ve lived in a culture where the party is not discouraged, it’s hard to go anywhere else. And while crime in Miami is overrated, there is enough that police don’t bother you for little things. Miami cops may be the only ones I actually like.

Combine this with an abundance of friends, the novelty of being an American guy in a city where American girls are dying to find you, and the fact that I know more about this city than I do about pretty much anything else, and it becomes pretty hard to leave. I know I always say this is the most transient town in the country, but for a person like me who has no aspirations for family life, it is a place I don’t ever want to leave.

Editor’s Note: Originally published April 07, 2009, this article has been lightly polished for readability while preserving Matt Meltzer’s first-hand perspective on living in Miami.