Imagine taking all the Advil-necessitating music of Ultra, combining it with the consequence-ignoring mentality of Spring Break, and throwing it all on the floating barge of bad decisions that is a cruise ship for four days. That right there would be a weekend church retreat compared to the Groove Cruise.
Haven’t heard of it? Billed as the world’s largest floating music festival, it’s a 96-hour marathon of electronic music where some of the world’s biggest DJs take to the ocean to play for about 3000, well, people who’d want to listen to 96 straight hours of electronic music. Throw in a smattering of swingers, a healthy population of porn stars, and some of the best bodies money can buy, and you’ve got a recipe for a trip that will change your life. And not just because herpes isn’t curable.
So sneak some liquor on board, and come along with us on a photographic journey from Miami to Cozumel on the 10th edition of the Groove Cruise, as we see why this music festival blows anything on land out of the, um, water
Editor’s Note: Originally published on February 7, 2014. Updated in 2026 with new photography; Matt Meltzer’s original writing remains unchanged.
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