10 Things That Drive People Crazy About Living Her

Hate is a strong word, but sometimes you just need to vent. I originally planned this as “25 Things I Hate About Miami,” but by number six I was already running out of steam. That’s probably a good sign—turns out I don’t hate Miami that much. Still, these are the things that drive me up the wall. Feel free to add your own in the comments. I’m sure I missed a few.

1. Streets, Roads, Traffic & Parking

Let’s just lump these together because otherwise we’d be here all day. Miami’s construction boom is nonstop, yet the infrastructure upgrades feel like they’re moving at the speed of a sloth on vacation. Biscayne Boulevard and Miami Avenue are finally getting some love, but what about Downtown, the roads near the airport, or the Palmetto Expressway? The Palmetto gets so backed up I’m convinced Rick named his blog after it. It’s brutal. What’s the point of a million-dollar condo if it takes you two hours to get home every day?

2. Poor Customer Service

Miami’s customer service is… let’s be kind… inconsistent. It’s no secret that a lot of places treat you like you’re interrupting their day. City officials have tried fixing it with training videos and campaigns, but the problem persists. That said, there are bright spots—local spots that actually care about their guests. We even put together a list of restaurants with genuinely good service to help visitors (and locals) find them.

3. Lack of Reasonably Priced Restaurants

I get it—rent in South Beach is insane. But $14 for a martini? $100 a person for dinner? When South Beach sets that bar, places in Aventura and Coral Gables aren’t far behind. Restaurants justify it because “tourists won’t be back anyway.” Bad business move. It alienates locals who actually live here and keeps the city feeling like a theme park instead of a real place to eat.

4. It’s So Darn Flat

There’s nothing to say. Miami is flat. Really, really flat. No hills, no mountains, no nothing. When I first moved here, I thought I spotted a hill near Homestead. Turns out it was a landfill. Leave the skis and snowboards at home. The highest point in the entire state is only 345 feet. That’s not a hill; that’s a gentle slope.

5. People Aren’t Always So Friendly

I’m not sure why—maybe it’s a cultural thing, maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s just Miami—but don’t expect everyone to smile and say hello. Yesterday I said hi to a woman in line at Walgreens. She looked at me like I’d asked for her Social Security number. Maybe I’m too sensitive. I’m from California, where everyone’s a little too touchy-feely.

6. All the World’s a Stage… Except Here in Miami

Calling all thespians: let’s put on a show! I miss small, intimate theater—committed actors in a black-box space pouring their hearts into the craft. The new Performing Arts Center is beautiful, but it’s big, corporate, and expensive. It doesn’t fill the void for real, gritty live theater.

7. The Heat

When I say “the heat,” I mean the temperature—not the basketball team (though they can be hot too). June through September? Average high 89°F with 61% humidity. You’re going to sweat. Pack the sunscreen, stay hydrated, and accept that you’ll be glistening like a glazed donut by noon.

8. Dude, Where Are the Waves?

It’s depressing to hit the beach and find the ocean flatter than a pancake. Surf is rare here, and when it does get knee-high, the lineup turns into a zoo. I’ve seen it get good exactly once. For real surfers, Miami Beach is more of a paddle-out spot than a wave-riding paradise.

9. There’s No Good Mexican Food

Sorry to say, but Central and South Americans just don’t make good Mexican food. Their Mexican flavors—or their version of spicy—just don’t cut it for me. If anyone is thinking about opening a Mexican restaurant in Miami, I strongly suggest they fly to San Diego first and try the carne asada burrito at a Roberto’s Taco Shop. That’s the benchmark.

10. The Homeless Situation

I don’t hate homeless people—I hate the circumstances that lead to it. Florida’s sunshine draws a lot of folks who want to drop out of society. Miami becomes the perfect spot to live on the beach, drink beer all day, and panhandle from tourists. Seeing it every day takes a toll. You start to lose compassion, and that’s the saddest part.

Look, just because I listed 10 things I hate doesn’t mean I don’t love this city. Miami’s flaws are part of what makes it Miami—raw, chaotic, beautiful, frustrating, and unforgettable. Stay tuned for the flip side: “10 Things I Love About Miami” (assuming a hurricane doesn’t blow me away first). I’ll try to post it next week.

Wait… how could I forget hurricanes? I hate those too.

And I hate, hate, hate seeing purple flags next to the lifeguard towers at the beach, it means - BEWARE OF JELLYFISH

Miami Today (2026 Update)

Miami’s traffic, customer service quirks, flatness, and heat haven’t changed —though some roads (like Biscayne) have improved, and the city keeps growing. The homeless situation remains visible, but city programs have expanded outreach and shelter options. Mexican food? Still hit-or-miss, but the scene has gotten better with more good spots popping up, like Bodega Taqueria y Tequila. Waves? Still mostly flat—surfing is better farther north. Hurricanes? Always a risk—prepare accordingly. Miami’s still a love/hate love affair, and most of us wouldn’t trade it.

Editor’s Note: Originally published March 14, 2006. Updated in 2026 for things I stopped hating on.